Elizabeth Brooks is amazing.  She’s talented.  She’s a writer and an editor and a darn fine human being.  And when I asked her, do you craft, she laughed.

Laughed.

Here then, is Elizabeth Brooks and “Sampler Platter.”  Enjoy!

So Noony put out a call, asking for blog posts about all kinds of things, including crafts.

Do I craft?

Oh, do I! I’m not actually that good at any of them, though, mind you, because I take a rather “sampler platter” approach to all kinds of crafts: I get interested in something, and I get deeply invested in it for a while… usually just long enough to learn the basics and assure myself that yep, I can do that… and then I lose interest and move on to something else.

I’ve done latchhook and needlepoint and embroidery. I’ve made my own clothes (both everyday — which were mostly miserable failures — and some fantasy/sci-fi garb for cons). I spent most of grad school making a counted cross-stitch piece involving a dragon on a castle in a lake that was huge and gorgeous and by the time I was done, I never wanted to see another cross-stitch pattern again in my life. (To this day, I haven’t seen a pattern that’s made me want to pick it back up again.) I’ve been an on-again, off-again amateur photographer since my parents gave me my first camera at the age of ten, and of course, with all those photographs, I got into scrapbooking for a good while, too.

There are tons of other crafts that I’ve toyed with, but never quite gotten fully into: cake decorating, jewelry-making, and assorted flavors of ethnic cooking, to name only a few.

But yarncraft, oh my goodness, yes. I learned to crochet when I was 13, more or less shamed into it by my great-aunt, who made gorgeous pieces despite being blind. I learned to do little bits, then dropped it for a decade, only to pick it back up after that cross-stitch overload I mentioned. I’m terrible at maintaining a gauge, though, so I mostly made things like afghans, where that’s not quite as important. I made about four afghans (they make fantastic gifts when you’re fresh out of school and poor), then transitioned to crocheting thread instead of yarn. I made a whole slew of lace-covered Christmas ornaments [photo at left] and some breadbasket cloths before dropping it again. After that, I decided I needed to teach myself how to knit, so I did — I made a scarf and a couple of Christmas stockings, but I found it lots slower than crochet, and then I had my first kid and my free time went away, and I put all the yarn away.

But my kids are older now, and just a few months ago, the (unintentionally) combined efforts of several friends and acquaintances got me hooked (hah! I love puns!) on making amigurumi (crocheted toys, essentially).

I love that they’re generally small and easy to make — my favorite pattern is a palm-sized octopus that I can whip out in about an hour and a half, but I’ve made dozens and dozens of different things in the last three or four months. I started with food, then made flowers. Then it was Easter time, so I made a bunch of eggs and bunnies.

I’m an enormous geek who’s just gotten into a Doctor Who obsession, so I made a bunny with a fez and bow tie. Then I made a couple of Daleks in wacky colors, and a weeping angel.

Then I found a little chibi-Cthulhu pattern (did I mention I was a geek?). And after I made one for myself, a friend of mine made some crack to me about Cthulhu porn (“Cockthulhu: The Throbbing Tentacles of Pulsing Purple Passion“) and just to punish him for putting that image in my brain, I made him a chibi-Cthulhu with penises instead of tentacles. (No photo for that. You’re welcome.)

Just about the time I was finishing that up, my friend Lynn showed me this picture of some adorable Elder Gods.

It rather lit a spark in my brain, and now I’m trying to make all of them, though since I’m working without patterns (except for the Cthulhu, of course, since he was already done), it’s a bit slower-going. I’ve got Hastur done, and Nyarlathotep, and Yog-Sothoth. I’m doing Shub-Niggurath now, though it’s slow going because working in black yarn is hell on my eyes. I’m saving Dagon for last, because he’ll be the easiest, actually. But here’s a picture of my Little Horrors family so far:

…Yeah, I’m not quite right in the head. I know. But just for enduring my wrongness, I’m offering up a contest! Leave a comment, and in 1 week?, one random commenter will be drawn to receive an octopus in a color of their choice! (NB: you need to be willing to send us a private message with a working mailing address that can receive a smallish package.)

And if you ask really nicely, I just might include a top hat for him.

Masquerading by day as an uptight corporate cog, Elizabeth spends her nights concocting gleefully smutty stories. She writes erotic romances for a wide span of worlds, genres, and orientations, and is also a senior editor for Torquere Press. When she’s not writing or editing, she loves a wide range of generally nerdy hobbies, including reading, photography, tabletop games, geeky yarncraft, and silly smartphone games. You can find her online at her blog or on Facebook.

Elizabeth’s latest release is Foxfur, available from Torquere Press on November 13.

Blurb:

Pleasure-slave Cheng takes no particular note of the red-haired woman when she purchases his services. But the morning after her departure, Cheng is taken into custody by the Emperor’s own guards and brought before one of the rare and terrifying Chained Mages. Already frightened and confused, things go from bad to worse for Cheng when the mage reveals the demonic nature of the red-haired woman. Now not only Cheng’s life, but the lives of everyone around him, depend on their finding the fox-demon as soon as possible.

As a Chained Mage, Jin is at best feared, and at worst, despised. But he can’t allow his personal feelings to interfere with his mission, not even when his admiration for the slave deepens. In fact, Jin’s love may result in a disaster. The fox-demon has placed a spell in Cheng, a spell designed to turn his sexual energy to a murderous ends, endangering himself and everyone around him. And worst of all, they’re not the only hunters on the fox-demon’s trail!